Where were you at in your music career when you had your first child? Was there much discussion about how that life choice would affect your career within the music/entertainment industry?

When I had my first son, I was between contracts actually. I had finished talent buying with the Olympics and it just seemed like time to throw caution to the wind. However, I was living in Vancouver and had little close friends and family nearby with children. It became the best place to meet other moms, maybe because no one had a lot of family around, and it was loaded with play groups and meet up gyms and parks.

I was hired at a new role, my first Executive Director role, when I was either months pregnant. Definitely a company who supported family and work. I went back to work when he was three months old. It was so much work and late nights and early mornings but at the time, I had the stamina and it was worth it. I took him to work at the choral org I was now running often and he loved it. My husband also took time off when he was a baby and that was incredible.

With my second, I was deep into my role as ED with Western Canadian Music Alliance. After long debate about a quick return to work, I landed on taking a full year. My board was in full support of what I wanted. They were not-so secretly happy that I was due shortly after our event ended, rather than before. 🙂

My choice to take short leave the first time and almost a second time, was completely due to fear of losing ground in the industry. When relationships are so important, I was scared that I would slip back in my career path if I was not top of mind. With my second, its not that I didn’t care that much but I felt I was at a better spot for me to accept if that happened, and to not lose as much ground. I didn’t in the end feel I lost any.

What changed for you when you became a parent in this industry? (or faced when your children were younger if relevant)?  

When my first sone was young, I actually left the industry. It didn’t feel feasible and I didn’t feel supported from the wider community. The fast pace was flying by me and I didn’t want to feel guilty about work or about missing key points of his life. So I pivoted to charity. After a few years though I missed it and took an opportunity that came up to move back into music. Now I am more dedicated and passionate in what I do, who I can help, and making sure parents do not feel this way themselves.

What is one change (big or small) within the industry that could make a positive impact for working parents?

Ask what is needed to fully participate. They may need nothing. They may opt to keep their family life separate, or want to bring their kids along. But the best start is to ask and try to help with whatever the answer is.

Finish this sentence: “Being a parent in music is…” 

…a team sport. And at this point in my life, if someone needs help with it, “send me in coach”. I am happy to help.

How do you find support and community with other working parents in or out of the music industry?

Whatsap groups. I mean groups of life long friends also raising children, recognizing we do not have as much time to hang in person right now but we can vent unapologetically to each other and get support.

What’s one specific example of an organization/venue/company doing something great to help support working parents?

Folk Music Canada. Their Little Folkers room is magic. As is their offer of free passes to caregivers.

What could a music event (festival, conference, etc.), do or provide to make it easier for you to participate?

It would be amazing if conferences or showcase festivals ask caregivers, what they might need. Its a point of accessibility, and recognizing that everyone needs different things to participate fully is a start.

And wherever funding is involved, providing support for caregiving where needed is gold standard, but please make it a provision above the maximum that anyone who is not a caregiver is eligible for. This is the same as if you were providing support for any other accessibility.

What advice would you give to someone in music who’s thinking about becoming a parent? 

I’m going to echo Sandy, building a family and a career do not need to be mutually exclusive. Choices will have to be made but you’ve got this.

Also, try to be present when you are home and not working. I am not as good at that as I would like to be, so maybe I am giving this advice to myself. But also forgive yourself if work creeps in. Its not a bad thing for your kids to see you doing something you love.

Can you shout out another music mama doing great things?

I will shout out everyone in this blog, and in the last three years of this and the ones to come. You all inspire me. I am so honoured to highlight you.