Where were you at in your music career when you had your first child? Was there much discussion about how that life choice would affect your career within the music/entertainment industry?

At the time of my first pregnancy, I had released my third album and things were going well. I had just played to a sold out club called the house of blues in Los Angeles.

I felt both overwhelmed and ecstatic to realize Raine and I would be parents and i became completely engulfed in my pregnancy and our new growing family.

No one said boo. it was a fluid thing. I didn’t actually reflect at all on how this may affect my career. Nobody said anything outloud. no quiet parts were even mentioned.

My mother actually was the only person who speculated that I had a demanding and blossoming career. How would I take on a baby? I shut her down for being mean. This is funny to me now. She knew what was to come! Children indeed are a lot of commitment. As much as we may say “we can have and do it all” it is very difficult to do everything well, and to make more than one thing a number one priority. 

What changed for you when you became a parent in this industry? (or faced when your children were younger if relevant)? 

Once I became a parent my “inner, individual artist schedule” and my creativity shifted for sure.

I released albums less, and I stopped touring abroad and outside of canada which I found was easier to tour because I could go through major markets in a few weeks.  I could focus on a pocket of Ontario or BC for 10 days.

I could do one off appearances.  Canada became my major market and on my terms, as a solo artist.  

I became invested in time at home for longer periods and writing for other artists and collaboration with superstars became more my focus while the kids were younger. This cut travel by a lot and I could prioritize my marriage and my family. While it hasn’t been perfect, nothing is… it has worked overall for me and my family. I am happy. I have been able to accomplish so much, live out many dreams as an artist and I know how many hairs are on my kids heads, and I find the cigarettes pens their drawers and yell at them to clean their rooms… like all other moms! 

What is one change (big or small) within the industry that could make a positive impact for working parents?

Honestly, in order to shift the energy in the industry surrounding family and parenting as an active artist or industry person, it would be so healing and reassuring if we could normalize all this love we have behind the scenes for our families. I have always felt like it’s not regarded cool to be in love or to have kids… as if being alone or  possibly “available” makes one cooler? This is ridiculous to me.

The thing that makes art good is that it comes from someone’s honesty… from them making themself vulnerable surrounding the things that most people go through..the regular struggles of family and relationships that we all have. We can be not alone but feel soooo lonely. You can feel pulled in so many directions because of family and kids. But the thru-line is that we love our families. There is nothing wrong with these realities walking hand in hand. We can want to live out our dreams and they can be seemingly very different goals. If we could all talk about this truth and live without shame I think that would be a first beautiful step!  

Finish this sentence: “Being a parent in music is…”

Being a parent in music is wild and rewarding and daunting and exhausting and I love it all. 

How do you find support and community with other working parents in or out of the music industry?

I love talking through the trials and tribulations of being a working parent in the music industry with my allies and colleagues! … band members and producers and I love including their families for example my producer Eric Rosse’s kids both perform on my upcoming albums in my own voice and rockstar joy. Niko plays guitar and Satya sings by vocals.  i love being understanding of my peers need to be with their kids and maybe  pass on opportunities of accommodate schedule changes… just this morning Kevin who works with me said he made a prior commitment to be at his sons school for a music session, and i automatically am like “hell ya.”. it’s okay, we pivot and we make concessions, show compassion and grace to each other!  Family is most important! 

What’s one specific example of an organization/venue/company doing something great to help support working parents?

I love it when a promoter thinks up a chance to accommodate my family or opens up accommodations to my kids or throws in an idea for how the weekend of a festival. could be appealing to my entire tribe .. a friend has a cottage and wants to take the boys in the boat or maybe it’s just asking what we might need if everyone is coming in for a show. It means a lot because it shows they are being inclusive and understand our priorities as a family. 

What could a music event (festival, conference, etc.), do or provide to make it easier for you to participate?

I don’t want to sound like a docs but honestly even if a festival promoter asks us what night would be a better slot because of school and flights and what works best for our family- wow that would be so cool. A Friday show is harder because it’s the beginning of the weekend but it’s still a school day. My kids have given us so much grace and I am sure it’s been a lot of sacrifice for them over the years even though we try to balance our tours and appearances really intentionally. 

What advice would you give to someone in music who’s thinking about becoming a parent?

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, know that this is your journey and no one can tell you what’s right for you.  Judgment isn’t a thing here. Do what fits your comfort level and never be afraid to reach out to friends family community or industry for help and counsel.

I believe that we can avoid a lot of retroactive health care and help for adults if childhood traumas are avoided at the onset. Know that little people turn in to big people and become an important part of our ever changing world. You matter as their guide and protector. Definitely do your best. Try to be intentional and caring while also honouring your external purposes that exist outside of family, that you felt inside of yourself before brining a parent. If you are regretful and unhappy your children will feel that too. So be strong, don’t get stuck in any weeds. Solutions are everywhere. Stay creative, you got this! 

Can you shout out another music mama doing great things?

Anna Ruddick who plays bass with us is a bad ass boss that inspires the hell out of me. Our conversations are a riot and supportive and fun and we feel a great deal of compassion for each other but also scrape each other off the floor a bit too. haha (this is a girlfriend requirement of course) and I love her so much I could spit!